Drive
by Sinful-Plaything
Summary: "All we do is drive All we do is think about the feelings that we hide All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign Sick and full of pride All we do is drive."Lucy Davies life is a mess by time she moves to Canada, but with the help of her friends, she reckons she can get through it. But can she get through her developing feelings for Josh?
1. White Butterfly

**Drive- White Butterfly**

 _I smiled, rubbing my face into his back and wrapping my arms around his waist. He stirs and twists to face me, enveloping me in his arms before kissing my forehead and giving a pleased moan as I then capture his lips with my own._

" _You're so beautiful in the morning babe" he whispers into my hair, pulling me closer._

" _I thought I was beautiful all the time" I tease, pretending to pout like a petulant child._

" _Shut up and take the complement" he smirks back, poking me in the side, causing me to yelp at the tickling sensation._

 _We fall back into a comfortable silence. I like this future._

 _ **Traits**_

 _Intelligent, Competitive, Optimistic_

 _Honest: 3/10_

 _Charitable: 7/10_

 _Brave: 4/10_

 _Romantic: 8/10_

 _Curious: 6/10_

 _Funny: 5/10_

 _ **Relationships**_

 _Josh: 10/10_

 _Ashley: 10/10_

 _Chris: 6/10_

 _Sam: 7/10_

 _Mike: 3/10_

 _Emily: 4/10_

 _Jessica: 7/10_

 _Matt: 5/10_

 _Hannah: 7/10_

 _Beth: 10/10_

 _Heather: 7/10_

 _Emma: 6/10_

 _Giles: 6/10_


	2. Chapter 1

**Drive- Chapter 1**

I want to go back to six months ago. I want to go back to before dad, before we had to leave Leeds for this pint-sized town in Alberta. I want _my_ bed and _my_ school and _my_ friends.

I didn't want any of this.

I want my dad.

As mum pulls up into the driveway, I am almost determined to hate this place, as if my hatred will reset time and everything will be okay again. My dad will be alive, mum will have that ear-splitting grin than leave dimples on her cheeks and we'll be a family.

Giles, my brother, seems almost unchanged, but then again he is only 7- he wants dad, cries for him, but he as easily slips out of his moments of sadness as he does into them.

My sister is still back in the UK, studying away at Cambridge and here I am, ripped apart from everything I know when I need stability the most.

* * *

Waiting in the driveway is my mum's sister, Lea, her husband and my cousin Ashley. She smiles at me, but the sympathy is coming off of her -crushing me- but I didn't care. I'm already nearly crying the moment I fall out of the car and immediately Ashley is there, holding me and I couldn't be more grateful.

Ashley and I grew up together. Cousins and best friends, despite the physical distance between us growing up, we couldn't be closer. Her being here, wrapping her arms around me (admittedly in her awkward Ashley-like way) is like being _home_ again, it's like she is squeezing the puzzle pieces back together and it is almost, _almost_ , working.

Ashley complains about me getting mascara on her favourite hoodie, and I choke out a laugh. Its bitter, but to be honest all the reservations about being here momentarily disappear in the warm glow that is Ashley Howard. She is so familiar- such a part of me, that I almost forget anything was missing, that I am somewhere entirely new and strange and unknown because she is the opposite of that.

I pull myself away and give her a weak smile, which she returns, and I awkwardly and uncharacteristically greet my aunt and uncle, before helping my mum unload the car and wait for the van to arrive.

* * *

Once the unpacking is finished, my mum goes next door to Aunt Lea's to catch up with her and her husband, James, and my brother disappears into the depths of his room- only 7 and already a recluse like my sister.

"So..." Ashley starts looking around the room, not knowing what to say. I notice the old N64 console in the corner of the room, and something brightens within me.

"Hey Ash, what about a game night?" I smirk, and she all but jumps up and shouts:

"I'll go raid the fridge" before I've even processed she said yes.

"There's chocolate in the fridge and in the cupboard should be some popcorn" I yell at her, setting up the console and putting _Mario Kart_ in there, booting up the console (not before having to blow into the cartridge about a billion times and restart it twice, but oh well).

Ashley settles down next to me, wrapping a blanket around her, snatching up the controller and chewing on a mouth full of popcorn.

I forget everything the moment she overtakes me, the overwhelming need to win making me forget everything else.

* * *

So I admit I'm being childish when I grumpily admit Ashley won, and quietly take a chunk of chocolate and pout.

"When did you get so good anyway, Ash" I say between gulps of water in attempt to make my mouth feel less weird after eating so much chocolate.

I did not expect such as shade of red to grace her face, nor for her to let out an almost _shy_ "I've been practicing".

Ashley may be a fairly shy person at times, but she doesn't do shy around _me_.

"Oooh. Who have you been practicing with?"

"Just Chris…"

I nearly fall out of my seat, twisting towards her with the first genuine grin on my face in what felt like eons. "Is that a _guy_ Ashley Howard? Since when did you become such a little sex pest" I tease and she nearly faints. Honestly, she looks like she's about to implode out of sheer embarrassment.

"It-It's not like that! He's just this guy and…"

Her phone rings and I see 'Chris' appear as the ID. It's almost like the universe is trying to make it up to me for these shitty past six months, because I dive for the phone on the table and answer it. Laughing almost hysterically as I say "Hellooo- is this Ash's boyfriend Chris?"

Ashley screams at me in embarrassment and I think I just murdered the guy on the other end, because I hear choking and spluttering and "ummmm" rather than any actual words.

I let Ashley take the phone off me, still laughing as she apologises to Chris, explaining who I am and that I was trying to embarrass her. Telling him "see you" and agreeing to meet up tomorrow before ending the call.

Ashley tries to be mad at me, honestly. I can see it in the way her lip twitches in suppressed anger and the way she is trying to maintain eye contact but keeps looking away but she unravels quickly joining me in my laughter and pushing me playfully saying "I hate you so much _Lulu_." I playfully glare at her in response.

"How _dare_ you call me Lulu." I say, still slightly laughing at the left over redness in Ashley's cheeks. "So, is that I date being planned tomorrow?"

"No. We're just meeting up to buy some school supplies for Monday. How about you come with?"

"I don't know. What happens if I start third wheeling" I joke.

"Oh shush" she playfully hits me "you won't, and anyway it might be good to introduce you to at least one of my friends before we go back in two days, considering I plan on dragging you everywhere with me now you're here" She smiles at me, and I know that I'll go because Ashley has always been my soft spot, and me hers.

Growing up practically conjoined will do that to a person. So I nod, she smiles and says "night" and I go to bed at a healthy 2.30 AM falling asleep almost immediately.


	3. Chapter 2

**Drive- Chapter 2**

I am woken up to my phone ringing- Taylor Swift's _Style_ bouncing off the walls of my bedroom. I get up out of bed and stumble towards my desk (nearly tripping over unpacked boxes still littering my room) to see Ashley calling me at- 8 AM?

Who the hell calls someone at 8 in the morning?

I answer the phone after considering not answering it at _all_ , but then Ashley would get all annoyed with me for ignoring her call and that is so much effort to deal with.

"Hi!" Her voice is chipper on the other end. _Oh God I forgot she was such a morning person_.

"Hey" I slur, wiping my eyes with my pyjama sleeve "what do you want?"

"Oh just calling to say that we're getting picked up by Chris at 10. That okay?"

I groan "okay, but why so early?"

"Oh shh, that isn't early. We we're going to head off at 8 but figured we'd wait for you" she says. I register what she says.

"Ooh Ash, is he there right now? I'll get a shower then head to yours, that should give you some _alone_ time" I am practically snorting laughing down the phone, hanging up before she has a chance to think of a retort.

* * *

After showering and putting on a dark blue jumper, leggings and some brown ankle boots I grab my purse and head next door to Ashley's.

I didn't know what I expected Chris to look like and I didn't really know what type of guy Ashley would be interested in but as soon as he answers the door I know exactly why she liked him so much. If I had to say what Ashley's type would be, it would be this tall geeky blonde before me.

"Hi, I'm Chris" he smiles at me shyly. _Ha, Ashley did manage to find someone more awkward than her._

"I'm Lucy. So I trust you've been treating my cousin right" I pretend to lecture, acting a bit like an annoyingly overbearing father. I hear Ashley shout "shut up" from inside the house, and I stick my tongue out at Chris as I slip past him, giving Ashley a hug as she practically races from the depths of her house to stop me from embarrassing her further.

At this point, I thought Ashley might just have a slight crush on this guy, but the way they fumbled round each other as she tried to apologise for my teasing (again) and the look in that guy's eyes as I stand behind Ashley continuing to make faces, I can tell it's more than that.

It's almost sickening really, the way they swerved around their obvious attraction to each other. How couldn't they tell? I could tell and I only know the guy's name and the _tension_ in the room was suffocating me, it was almost unbearable.

As Chris leaves to grab his car keys, I whisper to Ashley: "Ash, you two are so obviously in love with each other I don't see how you aren't together yet."

"Shut up Lu" she says quietly, so I do. But I can already tell by the blush on her cheeks that she clearly feels something for him, so I resign myself to asking her about it later on when it's just the two of us.

Still, I don't think I could have that kind of chemistry with someone and not pick up on the fact there was something there. But then again, I've never had that sort of connection with someone.

* * *

Grabbing supplies was relatively uneventful. I got to know Chris a bit better, learning he was a year older ( _go Ash_ ) and that he was a bit of a goofball- at one point he found a bunch of _Star Wars_ masks and started putting them on, doing impressions of each character and when he put on the Han Solo mask even flirted with Ashley a bit, making her go a bright red again.

Overall Chris is a cool guy, and after scrutinising him a bit I figured he'd be good to Ashley- so he got my stamp of approval.

Now to just set them up.

* * *

Stopping for coffee on the way back, Ashley goes to the bathroom- leaving me and Chris alone for the first time.

And it was awkward. "So…" he begins.

"So?" I answer, smirking at him. And he just smiles awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. _Why must I be surrounded by the socially inept?_

"So. You and Ash…" I start, and I probably nearly killed him for the second time in two days. I decide to continue "I know it might be weird considering I barely know you, but I guess I'm just protective of her. We're like two peas in a pod, and I just worry that she'll get hurt-"

"I wouldn't hurt Ash" he starts but I cut him off.

"- I'm not saying you would, you seem nice. Ash definitely likes you, so I guess you could say that I give you the Lucy stamp of approval."

He doesn't say anything straight away, and as he's about to Ashley returns, cutting off any further discussion on the matter but he gives me a small smile which I take to be appreciation.

I don't really know quite _why_ I'm so determined to get them together- I have only just met the guy. But seeing Ashley so happy and bright around her new "best friend" makes me want her to be like that all the time. As if making Ashley's life better will somehow magically fix the hole inside me.

Who knows, maybe it will. I did always like to make other people happy.

* * *

 **Note: Yeah I know its been pretty heavy Chrashley at the moment but I just wanted to establish Lucy's character a bit and have her interact with some other characters before I start of the romance with Josh and given her closeness with Ashley, I figured a little teasing would be a pleasant way to start the story off and give you an idea of the type of person Lucy is. Also had to throw a slight Star Wars reference in there given my excitement for going to see it today- I seriously can't wait.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

School rolled round quicker than I thought, and I don't really know what to expect. At least Ashley and I were in the same year; otherwise I think I'd be a lot more nervous than I am.

Standing outside the school reception I realise that this is a small school for a small town- everyone probably knows everyone and that probably makes me stand out like a sore thumb and that causes my stomach to twist slightly uncomfortably, but I once again remind myself I do know Ashley, and now Chris, so it's not like I'll be completely alone.

And then there's Ashley's group that I've heard so much about, but I'll probably refrain from commenting on them until I've actually met the group.

"Here's your timetable Lucy" the woman behind the desk says to me, smiling and revealing yellowed teeth (probably from smoking) behind thin, ruby red lips.

"Thanks" I reply, walking to meet Ashley so she can tell me where the hell I'm actually supposed to be.

"Hey Ash" I wave and she runs over to me, leaving a pair of brunettes to stroll behind her, as she excitedly snatches my timetable off me, pouring over the contents and then looking up at me grinning.

"You have form with me and my friend group in this year, and you also have AP English with me and AP Business with Beth." She gestures towards one of the brunettes, who I now realise are actually twins, and I assume the one she pointed to is Beth. She smiles at me.

"Hey, I'm Beth and this is Hannah" Hannah gives me a smaller, much shier smile than her sibling "in case you can't tell we're twins" Beth continues.

"Hey I'm Lucy- nice to meet you"

"Ooh I didn't realise you were British. And can I add that I love your hair- you don't see too many people in this school brave enough to try and pull off pink hair and it looks really cute on you."

"Thanks- like your jumper"

We smile again and I continue talking to them on the way to form, where I get to know the twins a bit better and meet this guy called Matt, who is also apparently apart of this little group. He was relatively quiet so we didn't particularly talk a lot but he seemed like a nice guy.

* * *

Looking at my timetable, I note that I have pretty much all AP classes apart from in maths, the sciences (no surprise) and classes that don't have an AP alternative like drama. I also have gym first, which makes me groan in annoyance.

Now, I've been dancing since I was 7, almost as long as I had been doing drama, but that didn't mean that I was especially athletic. I wasn't appalling but my physical strength left a lot to be desired and whilst I could dance for hours, ask me to climb or run more than a mile and I'd probably tell you to fuck off.

"Hey" I hear behind me, and see Matt "I heard you had gym first from Ashley. I have that class too."

"Oh" I start and smile "well, show me the way gym buddy."

Nothing more is said after that, and a few times I went to say something but didn't really know what to say. When we reach the gym, I smile at him and thank him, and go to get changed.

* * *

By time lunch had rolled around, I'd had gym, AP Business with Beth (which was actually a lot of fun, I didn't expect to get along with anyone here quite as well as I had with Beth) and I'd had Drama which was also great. The drama teacher also told me that the drama club was having some sort of meeting at lunch about the annual school play, and that I should head over.

Much to Ashley's dismay that meant I wouldn't be meeting her group of friends from the year above, but I assured her that I'd still do round to Chris' tonight for some "we survived the first day" get together they usually have, which seemed to make her a bit more relaxed.

So now, I was sat in this meeting discussing the play we were going to do- Shakespeare's _The Tempest_ \- and about auditions for roles etc.

It was relatively dull but I paid attention throughout so that I had the best chance of getting a good role.

You see, drama has always been my dream. I love acting and want to make it into a career and the first step to that is taking part in all of the productions that I can.

The next step is acting at the University of British Columbia- but I wasn't quite at that level yet.

Leaving I drop my pencil case on the floor, and a guy stops to help me. I see a mass of brown hair, and he looks up at me and smiles, and I notice he has _really_ nice eyes.

I smile back saying "thanks" and he nods in reply. I turn around and leave and to be honest actually forget about him pretty quickly in the remaining rush of the day.

I didn't even get his name.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Ashley had told me to dress pretty informally for this party thing, so I just reapplied my makeup and headed over to the address she had given me (why she didn't go with me instead of ditching me for Chris I will probably never know- I swear that girl is trying her hardest to give me no ammunition). It wasn't far, checking maps and looking at the estimated time of 15 minutes by foot, so grabbing some alcohol I had stashed I headed off to meet Ashley's mystery friends.

Outside the address is what appears to be a couple, a tall guy with dark hair and a girl that seems so confident it almost made me feel inadequate just being in her general vicinity. The couple also appear to be arguing.

"Mike- we _have_ to go back, my mascara isn't in my bag!"

"Em, we are right here just leave-"

"Michael Munroe if you think I am going _anywhere_ without mascara on you're an idiot."

The man groans, and I do have a moment of sympathy and decide to interrupt and introduce myself.

"Hey there I'm Lucy, Ash's cousin. I have spare mascara if you need to use it- not that you need it!" I smile, even as the girl falters momentarily and looks me up and down scrutinising me (which was beginning to piss me off). There is an awkward silence after Mike introduces himself and the girl still doesn't say anything. Something in her eyes seems to decide something and she then returns a smile to me.

"Hi I'm Emily- I'll take you up on that offer if you don't mind"

"Oh sure!" I exclaim, fishing out the mascara from my bag and handing it to her, she quickly applies it (actually seeming to approve of my brand) before thanking me and handing it back to me.

As we approach the door I no longer know what to expect from Ashley's friends- Chris I understood but this Emily is definitely not someone I would think of as a friend to my cousin.

Beth answers the door and I smile, her returning it to me and giving me an excited hug and I am grateful to see someone so friendly towards me despite how little time I've known her. Hannah also appears behind her, briefly looking at me and smiling before noticing who is stood behind me and completely focusing on Mike with adoring eyes. Beth on the other hand is glaring at him so much I'm surprised he doesn't spontaneously combust.

"Hey come in Lu, I want you to meet my brother. Oh! You haven't met Jess or Sam yet either- Jess! Sam!" She shouts and two blonde girls turn around and start to walk towards us. Emily and Mike slip past us the former briefly acknowledging one and giving a hug to the other.

 _Why are the girls here so attractive? Why can't I have their perfect cheekbones and jawlines?_

"Hey I'm Sam, you must be Lucy" she smiles shaking my hand and giving off a warm welcoming aura that makes me grin. She lets go of my hand before nodding and turning her attention to Hannah; the pair disappearing to talk about something that is leaving the blonde giving the girl a stern yet sympathetic look as Hannah to fidget awkwardly.

"I'm Jess." The girl greets her reaction somewhere between Sam's and Emily's. She's scrutinising me slightly, yet she doesn't have the same hostility, and she does smile at me, shaking my hand.

"Lucy" I reply "oh I love your shoes!" The girl brightens at my compliment, saying how she got them on sale and that we should go shopping sometime. She also compliments me on my hair, and points out she can fix my roots for me (which both insulted me and made me feel grateful because I am terrible at dying my hair myself). Beth disappears to find her brother who's disappeared somewhere with Chris and I'm assuming Ash, leaving me to talk with Jess some more.

The girl is nice- I can tell immediately that she can have a mean streak, but she is so determined to have me like her (and I'm assuming everyone) that it makes me warm to her. She may be stunning but she clearly has some insecurities like the rest of us- although God knows why.

* * *

It's a while before Beth returns, dragging her brother behind her and the moment I see him I know those eyes.

 _So he's the guy from the drama class._

I smile at him, and he is a strange mix of both cocky and uncomfortable as he returns my smile. "I'm Josh- I recognise you from drama."

"Yeah. I'm Lucy." I keep smiling, but there is a strange tug in my stomach that I instantly recognise as attraction. _Lucy squash it. You are too emotional right now to be risking even more heart ache._

"So…" I start, not really knowing what to say and quickly try to search for common ground "why are you in drama club?" I ask.

"Oh- I want to become a director, so I direct the school plays in order to get some experience. I do some acting sometimes too though. You?"

"I want to become an actress. Maybe you could direct some films for me" I wink, and something flashes in his eyes as he mumbles a maybe, before giving me a cocky grin that causes my cheeks to flash red and something to twist in my stomach again.

"Yo Josh! Stop flirting with Lucy and help me with this beer!" Chris laughs and me and Josh become momentarily startled as Chris laughs, screaming "revenge" as Josh shakes his head and goes to give him a hand.

* * *

After a while and the drink starts flowing, and also after a few games of beer pong that Matt and Hannah are both surprisingly excellent at- destroying all of us- Emily suggests a game of truth and dare in order to "break me in" and officially make me part of their group.

Beth seems to want to protest, looking at her sister as she says it might not be a good idea, Hannah herself seems a bit uncomfortable and I want to ask why but drop it as Josh shouts his agreement excitedly and grabbing another beer.

"So Lucy. Truth or dare?" Josh starts looking at me and making eye contact. _God. I barely noticed him at first and now the more I look at him the more attractive he's getting. I'm fucked if it's not the alcohol messing with my brain._

"Truth." _Boring. I know._

"What's your favourite colour?" He says, flashing me that charming grin, and I can hear Emily and Jess protesting at how _nice_ the question is.

"It's green" I smile starting into his eyes as I say it, causing me to blush as he gives me a another one of his cocky grins. "Yours?"

"Hey it's not my turn yet- but it might become brown." His grin widens, then focusing more intensely on my eyes. _That smooth mother fucker- he'll be the death of me._

"Gosh calm it you two and Lucy your turn" Ashley teases, and as a result I avert my gaze from Josh to Ashley.

"Say's _you_ Ash" I smile, and she turns into a tomato again as Josh laughs and Chris forces himself to look away from her.

"Right, Sam. Truth or dare?"

* * *

 **Hey sorry for such a delay between chapters. The holiday season is so busy and going back to school has been challenging due to A Level preparations and sorting out university offers, but it is nice to go back to writing as it is something that relaxes me and helps me collect my thoughts a bit as there is much less pressure when it comes to actually writing a fanfiction than there is a piece of A level coursework or an essay.**

 **That being said, I do still want to write a quality ff so is you notice any mistakes please feel free to point them out so I can fix them. I don't have the time to proof read a lot and I have no beta so mistakes are bound to happen. So please feel free to correct me anytime or give me any suggestions!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I only start settling into my bed –slightly drunk- at an ungodly hour of half 5 in the morning. I couldn't help melting into my warm covers, sobering up slightly after the gallons of water forced down my throat by a far more sober Ashley.

However, sobering up was not the _best_ plan, because I couldn't sleep anymore, and was left alone with my thoughts.

Like all of my trains of thought, they started off in a pretty positive place. I was grateful for Ashley's friends warming to me so quickly and including me in their odd group, and was pleasantly surprised by the _fun_ I'd had since getting here.

However, my mind quickly shifted focus to why I was _here_ in the first place. What I'd been suppressing and focusing on my suddenly busy life.

And grief comes and goes like waves.

Quickly tears cloud my vision; I let out noiseless sobs into my sheets as snot and drool unflatteringly dribble down my face.

I look a mess.

"Dad" I croak into my pillow, my throat raw. I hear the door creak open slightly- finding my younger brother opening my bedroom door.

"Lucy- why are your crying?" he asks, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Oh Giles, I'm sorry. Go back to sleep kiddo" I chuckle, rather pathetically, trying to rub the tears from my face.

My brother just walks towards me, still sleepy, and crawls under my sheets with me and quietly mumbles "okay" whilst cuddling into me.

"I miss him too" he starts to sob too and we cried.

And cried.

And cried.

 _Until we fell asleep._

 **Just a bit of an interlude before I start getting to the more romance bit. Also thought I needed to address that obviously Lucy was still torn up after her dad's death- and whilst it was over six months ago so she's learning to move on a bit, her and the rest of her family are still coping with it. Also wanted a bit of more family-based interactions. Let me know if you liked it and would like some more of Lucy interacting with her other family members- obviously outside of Ashley which is going to happen regardless.**


End file.
